The Roundhouse Times
- Local Hero Kicks Earthquake Back Into The Mantle — Metro Desk
- Bank Robbers Surrender After Reading Batnorris’S Yelp Review Of Their Plan — Crime & Punishment
- City Declares “Roundhouse Awareness Week” After Batnorris Saves Parade Float From Boredom — Civic Life
- Batnorris Rescues School Bus By Roundhouse-Kicking Traffic Itself — Metro Heroics
- “He Kicked My Bad Day Into Next Quarter,” Says Local Accountant — Human Interest
- International Space Station Requests Autograph After Orbit “Feels Safer” — World / Space
- Why Batnorris Should Be On The City Seal (And Also Your Lunchbox) — Opinion