THE ROUNDHOUSE TIMES · Metro Heroics · by Dana Deadline

BATNORRIS RESCUES SCHOOL BUS BY ROUNDHOUSE-KICKING TRAFFIC ITSELF

A stalled school bus on the Expressway became a viral legend after Batnorris arrived, nodded once, and kicked the concept of gridlock so hard that three light cycles apologized in unison.

Children cheered. Drivers wept. One GPS unit reportedly whispered “recalculating… gratefully.”

Principal Norma Clipboard confirmed all students arrived “on time, slightly more confident, and asking for martial arts electives.”