35% BATMAN · 65% CHUCK NORRIS · 100% AWESOME

Batnorris

THE ROUNDHOUSE RISES

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CLASSIFIED // THREAT LEVEL: AWESOME

Batnorris vs. K-Pop

He can fight the forces of darkness, but can he fight the rhythm? Gotham’s grittiest hero faces his greatest foe: an earworm with choreography.

Batnorris Facts

  • Batnorris once stared at the Bat-Signal until it blinked first.
  • When Batnorris does a roundhouse kick, GPS recalculates out of respect.
  • Crime doesn’t pay in this city. Batnorris already collected.
  • His utility belt has one tool: consequences.
  • Batnorris doesn’t chase bad guys. Bad guys chase better life choices.

Full dossier →

The Roundhouse Times

Local Hero Kicks Earthquake Back Into the Mantle

Seismologists cite “gravity’s feelings.”

Bank Robbers Surrender After a One-Star Yelp Review

The review just said “Don’t.”

School Bus Saved by Kicking Traffic Itself

GPS whispered “recalculating… gratefully.”

More headlines →

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