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THE ROUNDHOUSE TIMES · Civic Life · by Penny Pressman

CITY DECLARES “ROUNDHOUSE AWARENESS WEEK” AFTER BATNORRIS SAVES PARADE FLOAT FROM BOREDOM

The annual Founders’ Day parade was nearly ruined when Float #7 (“Progress”) stalled mid-route and began delivering a 40-minute speech about municipal bonds.

Batnorris intervened with what officials are calling a “motivational kick,” after which the float resumed rolling and accidentally distributed cotton candy to every pigeon in a six-block radius.

“He saved the parade,” said parade chair Herb Confetti. “Also the pigeons. Especially the pigeons.”

Council is expected to vote on Roundhouse Awareness Week, during which citizens are encouraged to stretch, hydrate, and not commit crimes that require kicking.